The Heart of a Missionary-


I live for days like Today.

Posted in Randomness,Uncategorized by misspicture on April 28, 2010
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I know i havent been blogging lately. I feel like i do have a lot to say but somehow find it hard to put it all into words.

I dont know.

Im glad keeping a blog is not my job.

I would love to blog for a living though…

and i just contradicted myself.

blah

Wanna know what i learned today after hanging out with a grownup woman ?

God allowed some awful episodes in my life. Just for tonight. Just so i could have something to tell her tonight. I cried, yes. It hurt, yes. But God transformed my tears into wisdom.

and for that… I am thankful

I was, also, able to answer one question that had been dancing around my little head…

….. Is that God’s best for your life?

Yes, sir. It is.

Because He spoke
Because there is peace in my heart
Because it does not hurt. It does NOT hurt.

I live for days like today.
I live for deep conversations where the Holy Spirit is just there
I live for days like today.

: )



He is my portion!

Posted in Insights by misspicture on April 19, 2010
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Im was reading Numbers 18 today

The LORD said to Aaron, “You will have no inheritance in their land, nor will you have any share among them; I am your share and your inheritance among the Israelites. Numbers 18: 20

As a missionary i often wonder about my future. Will i ever get married? will i ever own a house? will i ever own a car? will i ever have children? will i ever…..?

And i had always answered some of those questions with a big fat NO

Missionaries are poor

And sometimes, deep inside, i wish i wasn’t called to leave all the comforts of home to love people i dont even know.

Sometimes, if not most of the times, I am selfish.

This morning God introduced me to a truth i wasnt aware of.

He is my share.

Aaron and his sons were the high priests. They were in the “ministry” and God told him that they will have no inheritance in the Land of Canaan (The promised Land). For me, this means, no house, no car, no land to cultivate, nothing… But im no bible scholar. This might mean something else but just stay with me for a few more minutes. But He said: “I will be your share and your inheritance

I struggled with this for a few minutes. I was like.. “but God, they were the high priests. Arent you going to give them at least some of the land? ” But then i realized God was giving them more by giving them… well… Himself

whoa!

He is my share. He is my portion. He is my inheritance.

He and He alone.

I like Him better than a house, husband, car, and children.

#justsaying.

If you are in ministry today. And are worried about financial/emotional stability. Remember this: He is your share.

Happy Monday!




BONUS- #Thankful

Posted in BONUS by misspicture on April 10, 2010
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Its 12:31 am and i cant sleep.

After all that Jonas Brothers talk i had today…..

GOSH! I dont want to like them this much. But i do! WHY>?!

They really are not that good. But their songs are just stuck in my little head.

anyways….

This is a happy post.

A thankful one.

Because there are people in this world that understand me. They love me. They get me. They read between the lines and they understand exactly what i want to say. People who finish my sentences.

People i will miss.

I am thankful today.

I am whole. I could live this live im living right now forever.

No need to change a thing.

God has been good.
He gets the glory.

Where was I….?

Posted in Integrity Music,Randomness by misspicture on April 8, 2010
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Where was i in 2007?

MAN!

where was i when the Jonas Brothers were on the radio?

Where was i when Taylor Swift was dating Joe?

Where was i when Bethany Dillon was single?

where was i when Casting Crowns released their newest album?

Where was i….?

Music used to be such a big part of my life. I used to know everything about every band or solo singer. I used to write songs and i used to sing. a-lot.

where was i when i lost my passion for music?

I cant remember.

But i know where i was when i got it back.

I was trying to go online and i couldn’t. My internet has been acting funny for the past few days. So i decided to sit on my bed and just chill for a while.

And it came back.

The lyrics
The music
The melody

The voice.

And i did what i enjoy the most.

I wrote.

But this time. my sentences rhymed…..

I wrote a song.

Recently i was contacted by Integrity Music. They would like me to blog about their stuff.  And at first i was like… blah! because music had, for some reason, lost its appeal. But now its back.

And i get to blog about it.

I will close this post with one little thought.

Dreams
DO
Come TRUE

Oh monday, monday…

Posted in Q' Time by misspicture on March 22, 2010
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After all the things i’ve written this weekend im out of thoughts and ideas. But im still going to update this blog like its my job. Because i love writing and i love those who actually take the time to visit this corner of my world. Thank you/

I think a good thought to start this monday would be one found in Psalms 37:4

Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Start this monday acknowledging that there is something more to this life. Know that everything in you and in this world changes but there is only one thing that remains the same and that is God and His word. Would you think about that today?

Just think about it.

And when you’re done thinking I hope you realize that He is your reason to SMILE even when your circumstances dont give you a reason. He gave you life Today

Be thankful

In a nonreligious way

Just look up to heaven.

And Smile. No need for words.

He understands your smile-

What’s your reason to smile this monday…?
Let’s encourage one another

For me. Its my baby brother whom i got to cuddle with this morning.

What’s your reason to smile?
There is always one-

Happy Monday! : )


Holiness

Posted in Daniel Fast,Randomness by misspicture on February 25, 2010
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But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy. 1 Peter 1:15

What does that even mean? to be holy…

Well.. Let’s ramble for a second or two.

Holiness is all about your heart. Its about your motives and not about your actions.

It really doesnt matter how many days you go on a Daniel Fast. If your heart is not growing closer to The Father, then i would say you are just on a diet. (guilty)

It doesn’t matter what you are giving up for lent. If you are not finding yourself more and more dependent on God. Then you are just following a crowd.

It doesnt matter how many “christian” books you read. If you are not learning about the character of God AND applying your knowledge about Him…. Then i would say you are wasting your time.

It doesnt matter how many hours a day you spend reading The Bible. If the information you are reading is not causing a transformation in you… Then you are missing the whole point.

Arent we so legalist sometimes? (Am i speaking for myself? come one… you are, too, sometimes. RIGHT?)

We -sometimes- do all these things ultimately to feel good about our-little-selves.

Holiness is an issue of the heart.

BUT how can we be holy when our heart is sick with sin?

Well i dont have an answer.

But my best shot would be that we need to examine our hearts everyday. and ask for forgiveness everyday.

This just hit me today as i realized i spent all my day watching “J.O.N.A.S” (yes… they have a tv. show. i love it) and it was 9pm and i had still not had my time alone with God. And im supposed to be fasting, right? Fasting for who? the jonas? i dont think so. So I sat down and asked for forgiveness.

And you know What?

He Forgave me.

as usual.

My heart is wicked. prideful. selfish. rebellious. I am so glad He chose to love me first.

Im in love with Him. ❤

2×1= 2

Posted in 2x1=2 by misspicture on February 10, 2010
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I’ve got a new challenge!

Read the Bible in 2 years. 2 chapters a day.

Do i want to do this?

NO!

Is my pastor making me?

YES!

But dont worry. that is a good thing.  🙂

But let me explain my situation for a minute. 35 days ago i finished up the whole Bible and i did it in 90 days. B90X And yesterday i finished up reading the New Testament in 30 days NewThru30 Thank You Elevation Church

BUT i am drained. I am exhausted from speedy reading plans. They are AMAZING i loved them, i enjoyed them, i learned so much BUT i was just getting ready to start reading on my own and studying whatever i wanted without having to read something in particular. Oh well! It’s all good.

I am so thankful for my pastor. I LOVE the fact that he is encouraging us to do this. I LOVE that we are doing this together. It makes me smile.

And i will stop complaining. I am starting tomorrow. And im kind of excited… You know how much i love challenges!

So February will be a -heavy- month.

– Daniel Fast from feb 15th to March 7th (this means not eating out)
– Reading the book of Ruth everyday while fasting
– 2×1= 2

Ahhhhh! I changed my mind! i WANT to do this. I love challenges! i love them. Specially when they draw me closer to Jesus.

What about you?

How are you intentionally nourishing your relationship with Jesus?

Support Raising.

Posted in Support Raising by misspicture on February 8, 2010
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I was talking to one of my -possible- roommates for next year the other night and was telling her how scared i was about support raising. I told her i didnt even want to try. I am so not confident about this.

I KNOW in my mind God will provide. I am sure He will!  But for some reason i am not friends with the idea of “asking people for money” I am not good at it. Im scared about how vulnerable i will get and how lonely i will feel.

confession: I feel lonely right now. And i have not even started. I guess this is the life of a missionary.

I just cant do this.

I have ZERO skills.

But guess what?

I had my first donation last night.

And no. I dont know this person.

I didnt even ask for it.

It just came my way.

Unbelievable !

I dont even want to imagine what’s next in this journey. There is fear and lots of anxiety but there is also excitement. I feel like God is being so gracious and so clear. I have never felt Him so close and so involved in my life before.

Please keep praying for support. (i have not officially started. I will let you know when i do) I will keep you posted/

FLF

Posted in FLF by misspicture on February 4, 2010
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My baby brother had not been feeling well for the past two days. He had a fever yesterday morning but he was fine by noon.

He was happily napping. I was watching glee right beside him. my right hand was touching his little left leg.

Fever was apparently gone.

Out of the blue he started shaking and getting all red.

a convulsion.

My beloved almost son was having a convulsion.

I left the room, holding his little shaking body, screaming! Shortly enough we (me, my cousin, and the lady who helps us at the house)  -literally-  ran to the nearest med. center. It took us about 4 min. [Thank you Chavez] and there they put him on an oxigen masc, gave him some shots and then we (me and the baby) got into the shower so the fever would go down.

2 hours later. He was fine. He IS fine.

But me. I am still shaking.

The whole time i was at the med. center holding my -hardly breathing- brother i was singing “Holy is the Lord, God Almighty… The earth is filled with His glory…” while bawling my eyes out. And Let me tell you. It is not easy. It is not easy to sing and cry at the same time. It is not easy to see the person you love the most in this world having so much trouble to breathe. It is not easy to NOT be in control. It is not easy to be thankful…. It wasnt easy to remain thankful yesterday.

When i got home. I prayed this prayer. While still bawling my eyes out. “God. I dont get it. But it doesnt matter. I choose to worship You. You are good. You are good”

He is good. He will never cease to be good. Ever.

Yesterday was officially the worst day of my life.

Not only because my brother had a convulsion. But mostly because i realized how much i love him. I love him so much it hurts.

He is my Isaac.

And God is asking me to leave him.

and I will. In 30 weeks.

I am devastated. It hurts. It hurts so much it gets hard to breathe.

But one thing remains clear.

God is good.
and my circumstances  are unable to change that.

Be encouraged! Stay strong! Remain Thankful!

10 Things im thankful for

Posted in 10 Things by misspicture on January 7, 2010
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in no particular order

1- Friends. Faithful friends. Fun friends. Friends who never write back. Cool friends. New friends. Twitter/blog friends. Missionary friends. I am so blessed for all of them

2- Grace. Mercy. Jesus

3- DUDE! im going to freaking North Africa in september

4- My supporters who are also my friends

5- French classes.

6- Christmas breaks

7- Family

8- My church

9- Steven Furtick and Perry Noble

10- The word of God.

What are you thankful for?

?!@#$%~!!!

Posted in Randomness by misspicture on January 6, 2010
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Guess who’s going to North Africa in september?

yeah…

My pastor said yes.

and i know i should write a better post considering how big of a deal this is for me. but… words are just not coming out.

Thoughts- BONUS

Posted in BONUS by misspicture on December 29, 2009
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Here are some thoughts after a bad day…

1- I miss my Ms in a way i never thought i would.
2- Im on my own in this.
3- No-one here understands
4- They will not understand
5- And that’s ok
6- I dont like # 2, 3 and 4. But its all part of the process
7- I asked for forgiveness. Being this miserable doesnt bring glorty to God
8- I miss my M* girls
9- I would take that plane tomorrow if i could
10- Its just me and God.
11- This next year is going to be challenging
12- I am growing. I am growing. I become a new creature with every passing day. He is my perfecter. I am becoming more like Him.
13- Boy, i am selfish!
14- Jesus is fixing that. Dont worry.
15- Sadness is over.
16-Im on my own.
17- No one understands
18- repeat # 8
19- My spirit is listening
20- My relationship with Him has never been stronger
21- #20 is true just because of # 2,10 and 16
22- waiting sucks
23- I LOVE my life
24- I HATE waiting
25- I am doing this right. I am doing life right. This is right.
26- I may or may not go to N.A next year
27- But. I am doing this right.
28- I love blogging
29- I just finished the book of Acts and i start Romans tomorrow. (8 days until i finish up the Bible)
30- I think Acts is my -new- favorite book of the Bible.
31- Be still and Know that I am God- Psalms 46:10
32- I am doing this right. I have bad days. But im doing this right.
33- Thank you Jesus.

Saturday -BONUS- Post

Posted in BONUS by misspicture on December 19, 2009
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First of all. THANK YOU for your prayers! I really appreciate all your text messages, emails, calls and tweets.

My meeting went super well. My pastor was super kind in giving me all the time i needed to share my story and my thoughts about the trip. He also told me that he believed in my call and that, as a church, they were planning on sending me. He just didnt know when and how.

Yeah…

We are meeting again in january.
He promised to have an answer to the when and how then.

I will let God show him what He showed me. Gen 28;15

I am still processing this.

What do you think i should do?

Changing the subject….

Have i told you about my friends lately?

I have many, many good friends that i love and cherish.

But there are 3…. M*, A* and S* and they have the best friend tag in my soul.

M* is a girl and i always blog about her. She will have her chance to shine in this blog. But i wont talk about her today. Though i keep her close to my heart.

Today. It will be about the two boys that have won my heart. A* and S*. They are my brothers, my friends, my travel buddies. They let me tell them what to wear, and im always invited to their family parties. When they have stupid boy-fights they call me and ask for advice. They tickle me. They drive me home. sometimes they pay for my meals. sometimes they open the door for me. They buy me christmas presents. They care about me. They love me.

And i love them. deeply

I will have TWO “best men” @ my weeding- I dont care what my groom says-  And it will be them.

I have been so blessed to be able to share my life with these two.

Watch out, girls! If you ever date one of them. You will have to go through their little sister first! AKA: me!

Today is a good day. A good day to be thankful.
Thankful for godly men in my life.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend.!