The Heart of a Missionary-


He is my portion!

Posted in Insights by misspicture on April 19, 2010
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Im was reading Numbers 18 today

The LORD said to Aaron, “You will have no inheritance in their land, nor will you have any share among them; I am your share and your inheritance among the Israelites. Numbers 18: 20

As a missionary i often wonder about my future. Will i ever get married? will i ever own a house? will i ever own a car? will i ever have children? will i ever…..?

And i had always answered some of those questions with a big fat NO

Missionaries are poor

And sometimes, deep inside, i wish i wasn’t called to leave all the comforts of home to love people i dont even know.

Sometimes, if not most of the times, I am selfish.

This morning God introduced me to a truth i wasnt aware of.

He is my share.

Aaron and his sons were the high priests. They were in the “ministry” and God told him that they will have no inheritance in the Land of Canaan (The promised Land). For me, this means, no house, no car, no land to cultivate, nothing… But im no bible scholar. This might mean something else but just stay with me for a few more minutes. But He said: “I will be your share and your inheritance

I struggled with this for a few minutes. I was like.. “but God, they were the high priests. Arent you going to give them at least some of the land? ” But then i realized God was giving them more by giving them… well… Himself

whoa!

He is my share. He is my portion. He is my inheritance.

He and He alone.

I like Him better than a house, husband, car, and children.

#justsaying.

If you are in ministry today. And are worried about financial/emotional stability. Remember this: He is your share.

Happy Monday!




What’s your passion?

Posted in Q' Time by misspicture on March 23, 2010
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As you read HERE God is re-directing my vision and passion for Africa.

He has been tackling me with opportunities to serve/love/disciple young women in this city. And the more i pack my agenda with dates (with precious girls) the more i realize I was created for this.

I have a tendency to empathize.

I also have a tendency to hurt when they hurt and rejoice when they do.

I dont know. I just happen to have a heart for girls

I am passionate about it.

It all started one summer afternoon in Spain [2005]. When During an outreach I met a women who was going through a hard time. I picked a flower and handed it to her. Then she looked me in the eyes and said, “Thank you, this is who Jesus is.” When I saw her need, I realized that women in  Africa lack the love, value and acceptance that Jesus offers.  And that is why I feel called to minister there.

That day… I knew i was supposed to minister to women.

But there is one little problem. i kind of wasted 5 years of my life thinking that i was supposed to serve/love/disciple women over there. I forgot about the women God had placed in my life. Here

But its never too late

and so, I am investing my life in a few girls this year (or should i say 23 weeks?)

Would you please pray That God would make room in my busy agenda, so i can pour out my life in the lives of these girls?

Now. Its your turn
What is your passion?
How can i pray for you?

GO!

FLF- What donkey?

Posted in FLF by misspicture on March 19, 2010
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Today my mom is mad at me.

If you know me. You probably know how much that fact disturbs me.

But im fine today. Because i actually think she is wrong

Moving on!

I know God never changes. But for some reason i always thought the OT God wouldn’t hang out with Jesus. (im sorry. This is messed up theology. i know)

But then i found this-

“If you come across your enemy‘s ox or donkey wandering off, be sure to take it back to him”. Exodus 23: 4

For me this is the OT version of

“Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you”. Matthew 5:44

His LOVE will never change.

EVER-

Who’s your enemy today?
Identify his donkey, and
be sure to take it back to him….

Have a great friday!


Im Scared-

Posted in Support Raising by misspicture on March 18, 2010
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You might think that i love to write everything i feel on my blog.

You might think that it’s easy for me to be vulnerable.

You might think i enjoy it when people see me emotionally naked.

The truth is.

Sometimes writing and being vulnerable is neither easy or fun.

I am scared.

and alone.

I am not good with words. There is no way i can convince people to give to this cause. I cant speak in public.

*sight*

A video im not allowed to share on the internet just changed that. Man i wish you could see it.

It would make you want to join our team in Africa. I promise you.

and while writing this, seeing the beautiful faces of some precious friends. I realized…

Im not alone.

There’s M*, there’s G* and As*
There’s L* , D*, A* and J*

(sorry. didnt ask for permission to share their names)

young men and women who share the desire of my heart. Who hope to see vail-less faces some day soon. The bravest people i’ve ever met.

We share a passion.

And no matter how far we are from each other. We will always have Africa in common.

Im still scared.

But im not alone-




Holiness

Posted in Daniel Fast,Randomness by misspicture on February 25, 2010
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But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy. 1 Peter 1:15

What does that even mean? to be holy…

Well.. Let’s ramble for a second or two.

Holiness is all about your heart. Its about your motives and not about your actions.

It really doesnt matter how many days you go on a Daniel Fast. If your heart is not growing closer to The Father, then i would say you are just on a diet. (guilty)

It doesn’t matter what you are giving up for lent. If you are not finding yourself more and more dependent on God. Then you are just following a crowd.

It doesnt matter how many “christian” books you read. If you are not learning about the character of God AND applying your knowledge about Him…. Then i would say you are wasting your time.

It doesnt matter how many hours a day you spend reading The Bible. If the information you are reading is not causing a transformation in you… Then you are missing the whole point.

Arent we so legalist sometimes? (Am i speaking for myself? come one… you are, too, sometimes. RIGHT?)

We -sometimes- do all these things ultimately to feel good about our-little-selves.

Holiness is an issue of the heart.

BUT how can we be holy when our heart is sick with sin?

Well i dont have an answer.

But my best shot would be that we need to examine our hearts everyday. and ask for forgiveness everyday.

This just hit me today as i realized i spent all my day watching “J.O.N.A.S” (yes… they have a tv. show. i love it) and it was 9pm and i had still not had my time alone with God. And im supposed to be fasting, right? Fasting for who? the jonas? i dont think so. So I sat down and asked for forgiveness.

And you know What?

He Forgave me.

as usual.

My heart is wicked. prideful. selfish. rebellious. I am so glad He chose to love me first.

Im in love with Him. ❤

FLF

Posted in FLF by misspicture on February 12, 2010
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Today i just want to talk about a simple principle that is applicable to every situation in life.

“You cant help those who dont want to be helped”

You cant make them stop sinning.

You cant make them focus.

You cant make them read their Bible.

You cant make them a budget.

You cant organize their lifes.

You cant buy them more hours.

You cant fix their relationships.

You cant get them a job.

You cant!
Not if deep inside they really dont want to make adjustments in their lifes. You can share all your knowledge/experiences/testimonies with them or you could even set an example for them to follow. But if they dont want to. Boy! they just wont.

This is frustrating.

But my guess is you are only responsible  for what YOU do/say/think. What others do/say/think is really not your responsibility. You can set an example for them  But if they dont respond to it in a positive way. I would say you are out of it. Its their deal!

What do you think?

While you think. I will leave you with a little treasure i found. It’s been out there for a while now.I knew it was there. I just never took the time to listen.

I even have a friend who looks just like one of these three kids.

Where was I?

They even came to Venezuela and i missed them.

DARN it.
Same thing happened with the Backstreet boys. I discovered them a little too late.

Confession: I like the Jonas Brothers. Taylor Swift. And Miley Cirus

I might be a little too old to like them. But i do. so, shut up/

Have a great weekend.

Oh Oh OH! i almost forget!

What are your plans for valentines day?

: )


Support Raising.

Posted in Support Raising by misspicture on February 8, 2010
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I was talking to one of my -possible- roommates for next year the other night and was telling her how scared i was about support raising. I told her i didnt even want to try. I am so not confident about this.

I KNOW in my mind God will provide. I am sure He will!  But for some reason i am not friends with the idea of “asking people for money” I am not good at it. Im scared about how vulnerable i will get and how lonely i will feel.

confession: I feel lonely right now. And i have not even started. I guess this is the life of a missionary.

I just cant do this.

I have ZERO skills.

But guess what?

I had my first donation last night.

And no. I dont know this person.

I didnt even ask for it.

It just came my way.

Unbelievable !

I dont even want to imagine what’s next in this journey. There is fear and lots of anxiety but there is also excitement. I feel like God is being so gracious and so clear. I have never felt Him so close and so involved in my life before.

Please keep praying for support. (i have not officially started. I will let you know when i do) I will keep you posted/

10 THINGS i dont want.

Posted in 10 Things by misspicture on February 2, 2010
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In no particular order

I DONT want…

1- To ever allow anything or anyone to take God’s place in my life

2- To not be able to keep contact with my friends while in Africa

3- To miss my little brother’s 2nd birthday and his first day of school

4- To have someone else cook for my husband and kids. I will be the Queen of that kitchen (even if its tiny) im telling you. No one feeds my family but momma.

5- To have someone else raise my kids.

6- To be scared about support raising. Im about to pee my pants- scared

7- To ignore what i believe God has been telling me.

8- To be confused about what i believe God has been telling me.

9- To have a busy schedule this year

10- To be in this “detox” diet. But im just supporting my mom you know… IM STARVING! Daniel fast is going to kill me in 14 days.

My LOVE language

Posted in Randomness by misspicture on February 1, 2010
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I  have been thinking a lot about this lately and i think i know what’s my love language.

according to a book by Gary Chapman there are 5 ways we can give and receive love.

– Words of affirmation

– Quality time

– Gifts

– Acts of service

– Physical touch

For me its quality time. HANDS DOWN

If you know me you know im a people person. I love people and getting to know them. In fact. That is one of the reasons…. or i could even say.. THE reason why im not a big movie fan. You cant talk while watching a movie. at least you shouldnt. I would rather go out for tea (we dont really have coffee shops in vzla) and just talk and talk and talk for hours. Thats me.

I love getting to know people and just engaging in deep conversations. I love listening and being able to give advices.

I do enjoy time alone. I need it. daily.

But i get my energy from people and conversations. It’s just the way i am

I dont necessarily have to be the one doing the talking. Its ok if im just the listener. Silence is often welcomed and enjoyed.

Im all about company.

Quality is what matters. not so much quantity.

That’s how i show love.
But that is also how i expect to be loved.

I expect to be listened to. I expect you to engage in our conversation. I expect you to leave your cellphone/laptop/ipod in your pocket.

maybe im expecting a little too much…? maybe.

That’s me. raw me.

But.. Whats your love language?

🙂

ps: the picture above was stolen from Heather Whittaker. It took me almost 4 hours to find the perfect picture. It was worth it. This describes my love language. perfectly.

Did you miss me?

Posted in Randomness by misspicture on January 27, 2010
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Im not really sure what to blog about. I think im a little rusty from the strike. Which im so glad i did by the way…

Ok so a few things happened while a i was gone…

1- I started Discipleship or DSHIP, as i liked to call it, with my friend Nore

2- I filled out my application to go to Africa for a year.

3- I asked my pastor, my best friend, my ex-boss, and my mentor (Sorry Jyll i would have asked you, but you are in the DR. I love you!) to fill out my references.

4- I discovered a hidden love for Jazz. So far i like, Norah Johns, Michael Buble, and Jamie Cullum. (Marcus. your recommendations are on my “to listen” list)

5- I really really like  “Vanilla Twilight” by owl city

6- Im not sure if Romans 8:25 was a “yes, but wait” answer. And this is pretty much killing me.

7- ZACH IS DONE WITH SUPPORT! woohooo

8- My friend Ryan bought his ticket to go to Uganda for two years as a missionary. If you want to know how you can support him. Ask me. Double wooohoooo

9- Im going on a Daniel Fast starting FEB 15th.

10- I will read the book of Ruth 21 times. (once a day while fasting) Cant wait!

11- There is a reason why i picked that book. dont ask.

12- My baby brother gets cuter and cuter

13- My job description has changed to pretty much “change diapers and play with a 14 month old”

14- I like my new job.

15- I still go to the office. When strictly necessary. My boss (AKA: mom) would rather have me here taking care of her boy, than at the office. SCORE!

16- Im flipping scared about support raising.

17- I may or may not know one of my roommates for next year. 🙂

18- I may have or may have not found a Venezuelan  to go to Africa with me in Sept. 🙂

19- Venezuela has 2 hours black-outs a day. One dollar costs more than a bottle of water AND the government is killing students all over the country. to name a few things….

20- God is still in Control.

21- God is re-directing my passion for Africa. My vision is blurry but i know it involves college students.

22- Man.. this makes me want to dance. God bless Latin America 🙂

Now. PLEASE. Tell me. Did you miss me?
Because i missed you.

To all the crazy people out there…

Posted in Randomness by misspicture on January 19, 2010
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Thanks for your comments and ideas-

I pray God will continue to straighten you as you continue to do CRAZY things. 🙂

I heard that one of my friends is going on a last minute mission trip. And i just thought: “This is it, Jesus.  This is it”

I want a heart that listen to the voice of God and ACTS on it. Instantly.

I think i came up with my crazy thing.

Giving up 65% the money destined for entertainment on my budget. For 3 months.

Starting feb 1.
until April 30.

May 1st. I am SO going out to eat.

It’s not much. But it hurts. And if it hurts its sacrificial. If its sacrificial… then that’s what im doing.

Random thought: Going to Africa sounds crazy enough to me…. HA!

This a very shapeless post. Im just throwing random thoughts in here.

oh well!

Keep it up! Keep living a crazy life for Jesus. And let me know how it goes….

Oh! oh! Before i forget.

I have the application-for my One year internship in Africa- sitting right next to me. Half done.

I cant believe this is happening.

I am scared.

CRAZY THING

Posted in Randomness by misspicture on January 18, 2010
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Did you read my BONUS post this saturday?

well…

I was determined to do something CRAZY for Jesus and step out of my comfort zone so others could be blessed.  Now, Im still determined to do it but im just not going to do that particular thing.

Ill spare you of the details… But my parents didn’t approve. In fact they felt offended.

Not a good thing.

Im frustrated though. I REALLY wanted to do that thing. (not because i wanted wanted to. But because i knew it would allow me to be more dependent on God)

Oh well.

Im trying to come up with something else that is crazy. And i’ve got a rough idea of what that might be… But im not sure yet.

I will let you know soon. Stay tuned.

Thanks for all the support.

What is something -CRAZY- You are currently doing? How are you dying to yourself so that others can be blessed?

BONUS

Posted in BONUS by misspicture on January 15, 2010
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SEE how much i love you -my readers-? Im writing a BONUS post on a friday!

I have a raw idea of what i want to say… Ill do my best to develop it as a write. It’s how i roll/ If i wait. I loose it.

where do i start?

uhm..

Disclaimer: I dont usually write about this. Not because i dont want to but because it is just not the purpose of this blog. But what im feeling right now is well worth blogging about.

If you’ve spent some time with me. You probably know that i dont hide what i feel. Sometimes i wish i could hide my feelings and just keep my mouth shut. But i just cant. Sometimes im proud of it. Sometimes im ashamed of it. It depends.

the thing is… Oh man, i cant believe im really going to write this on a public blog.

He is funny. He is not very good at telling jokes but for some reason they make me laugh. he gets all excited if i laugh when anyone else is. He is cute. He is mature with a little sparkle of immatureness. He is taller than me. He is a gentleman. He thinks about marriage a lot. More than anyone around him knows. He has a neat bed and a very organized tiny room. He knows how to match his dress pants with the right shirt. He can clean the floor like any one i know. He is protective. He opens the door for girls. He is a faithful and caring friend. He is shy.

He is head-over-hills in love with Jesus. He keeps a journal. He is one of the best christians i’ve met. He is humble and genuine. He has guy friends. He has a servant’s heart. He actually reads his bible and lives it. He looks right into my eyes.

But he walks out the room whenever our conversations get interesting.

crap.

too good to be true.

Im the worst christian ever. BONUS

Posted in BONUS by misspicture on January 9, 2010
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dad: Can i borrow your cellphone?

me: sure!

after a few minutes i went to where he was and told him (not-so-politely): “You are going to consume all my minutes!!!!”

went back to my room and felt horrible

I am the worst christian ever.

I just finished reading CRAZY LOVE by Francis Chan. Awesome book. But what happened to all the words i had just read? why did i have to be so selfish and be a jerk to my dad? why did i not love him? why didnt i show Jesus to him?

I am the worst christian ever. I am ashamed

I need to go apologize-

now.