The Heart of a Missionary-


BONUS- Sonet of the unseen

Posted in BONUS,Poetry by misspicture on March 24, 2010
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For some reason.
Deep inside my wildest dreams.
You are *already* mine.
I *already* have you.
You are here, with me.

Not even your absence can change that.

This is a reality.
In my heart,
in my mind.
and most importantly.
It is a reality 

In  heaven.

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Smile :)

Posted in BONUS,Poetry by misspicture on March 22, 2010
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I feel so good…..

I smile like a mad woman
for no apparent reason
I smile
I smile like you were here
But you are not.

And that’s ok
no-one needs you around here
I may want you around
But i dont need you
not right now.

Not to smile.
I can do that without you-

: )

Once upon a rainbow…

Posted in BONUS,Poetry by misspicture on March 20, 2010
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Life goes UP
Life goes DOWN
Dreams change
Friends come and go
But You.
You, my dear
Are what keeps me trying
You, my love
Are the rainbow in my cloudy days.

I love you
Even when i dont feel like it.
I love you

and so, I dance…

At the sound of your silence
at the beat of your music

Once upon a rainbow

BONUS

Posted in BONUS by misspicture on February 19, 2010
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I want to write about so many things right now i dont know where to start.

First off i want to ask all of the bloggers out there a question. Or two.

Why did i have 24 readers yesterday. But had 5 readers the day before? What makes a blog readable? what made it readable yesterday? Im curious

There is something else.

I am pregnant

No.

Not with a baby.

With a vision. A new vision

And as scary as it sounds. It is not for Africa.

For the past few months God has been re-directing my passion for Africa. He wants me there next year. I would even say He wants me there for a good 2-5 years. *This is yet to be confirmed* But I really believe God wants me somewhere else after that. Doing something i love to do.

But there is one problem with that. People will not believe this. Because i cant count how many times i have said God was not calling me there. And He wasn’t. But He may be now. People will criticize me im sure.

I know i shouldnt be thinking about this now. Because im just 28 weeks away from seeing the fulfillment of God’s promise to my life. Something ive been waiting for 4 years.

But it just hit me today.

This leaves me thinking that God is able to re-direct the vision He’s already given you. And re-define the passion of your heart. For the sake of His great calling for your life. Note that im not saying “change” im using the terms “re-direct” and “re-define” as indicators that there is a core value, if you would. And that will never change.

What do you think? Do you think God can do that?

BONUS

Posted in BONUS by misspicture on February 6, 2010
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I have learned one thing over the past few days.

There is no point on getting mad at the people you love.

It is a waste of time.

Really!

When you get mad at someone. It doesnt affect them. It affects you. It makes YOU sad. It makes YOU grumpy.

Not them.
Actually, if you dont speak out. They wont even know you are mad.

Im just saying that it is always better to forgive and forget

Dont throw your relationships out the window. Not every single thing you dislike is a reason to argue.

If there is one thing i want my friends and family to say about me is:

She’s graceful. And forgiving.

Are you being graceful and forgiving?

Im not. But im trying.

Always keep in mind that God is graceful and forgiving.

Who are we not to do the same for others?

It is all about selflessness.

BONUS- URGENT

Posted in BONUS by misspicture on January 20, 2010
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I have a burden in my heart

would you take a minute to read this?
and probably support my friend who’s going to Haiti. you can just give $1

http://zachpippin.com/haiti/

Everyone wants to do something about Haiti, right? Every one is talking about how the church needs to shine and step up. You’ve said it. I’ve said it.

I have heard of a bunch of organizations who are asking for money, even celebrities are giving to this cause. But when Zach told me that he changed his plans to go to Nicaragua and is going to Haiti FOR FIVE MONTHS instead… I thought. Now! this is what people in Haiti need.

They need the food you’ve sent, they need the water you’ve bought. But they also need men and women who are willing to be Jesus to them.

TO PROOVE MY COMMITMENT TO THIS CAUSE AND MY SUPPORT TO MY FRIEND ZACH.

I AM OFFICIALLY ON  A BLOG STRIKE.
until you step up and start being the church.

he is asking for $1. You have that!

See you when Zach is done with support!

CRAZY THING

Posted in Randomness by misspicture on January 18, 2010
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Did you read my BONUS post this saturday?

well…

I was determined to do something CRAZY for Jesus and step out of my comfort zone so others could be blessed.  Now, Im still determined to do it but im just not going to do that particular thing.

Ill spare you of the details… But my parents didn’t approve. In fact they felt offended.

Not a good thing.

Im frustrated though. I REALLY wanted to do that thing. (not because i wanted wanted to. But because i knew it would allow me to be more dependent on God)

Oh well.

Im trying to come up with something else that is crazy. And i’ve got a rough idea of what that might be… But im not sure yet.

I will let you know soon. Stay tuned.

Thanks for all the support.

What is something -CRAZY- You are currently doing? How are you dying to yourself so that others can be blessed?

BONUS- challenge

Posted in BONUS by misspicture on January 17, 2010
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This is another saturday post.

welcome! 🙂

Last week i read an awesome book by Francis Chan called CRAZY LOVE. It talks about so many things that it’s hard to paraphrase but if i had to describe it with a word it would be challenging

You have to read it. It will change the way you live your “christian” life.

And i have been thinking about what is it that God wants me to do specifically. What does He want me to change? In what areas of my life am i living a lukewarm christianity?

Today  i listened to this message by Francis Chan. Look for \”Lukewarm and loving it\” This will slap you in the face.

And i know what God wants me to do.

and… can i say OUCH!?

1- It is something i dont want to do

2- It is something i am scared to do

3- It is something my parents wont approve

4- It is something my friends wont approve

5- It is something C-R-A-Z-Y and radical

I dont want to do this. No way! details later…

But you know what? I dont ever ever EVER want to knowingly ignore the voice of my God.
I want people to look at me and kNOW that there is something strange inside of me… something they dont have (Jesus). I dont ever want to have treasures in this world. I want to invest in His kingdom… not because He promises to bless me but mostly because of my crazy love for the King.

Today the words of a dear friend become true and not-so-crazy- anymore.

“I would be happy living in a studio. I dont need much. Poor wife…”
Im with you George.!

He is right. Now i get it.

What kind of life are we living? Does our life reflect the love, compassion, selflessness and surrender of Jesus?

We are way too comfortable….

So im doing something CRAZY. Im not telling you quite yet. But you’ll know

God wants everything from us. Not just leftovers. He wants everything.

And if for you that means being uncomfortable… then so be it!

Now i dont want you to think that i want everyone to be poor. Nor i believe that everyone needs to be rich. I think there should be a balance.

“Give God your first and your BEST, and trust Him to bless the rest” – Craig Groaeshel

Im the worst christian ever. BONUS

Posted in BONUS by misspicture on January 9, 2010
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dad: Can i borrow your cellphone?

me: sure!

after a few minutes i went to where he was and told him (not-so-politely): “You are going to consume all my minutes!!!!”

went back to my room and felt horrible

I am the worst christian ever.

I just finished reading CRAZY LOVE by Francis Chan. Awesome book. But what happened to all the words i had just read? why did i have to be so selfish and be a jerk to my dad? why did i not love him? why didnt i show Jesus to him?

I am the worst christian ever. I am ashamed

I need to go apologize-

now.

Thoughts- BONUS

Posted in BONUS by misspicture on December 29, 2009
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Here are some thoughts after a bad day…

1- I miss my Ms in a way i never thought i would.
2- Im on my own in this.
3- No-one here understands
4- They will not understand
5- And that’s ok
6- I dont like # 2, 3 and 4. But its all part of the process
7- I asked for forgiveness. Being this miserable doesnt bring glorty to God
8- I miss my M* girls
9- I would take that plane tomorrow if i could
10- Its just me and God.
11- This next year is going to be challenging
12- I am growing. I am growing. I become a new creature with every passing day. He is my perfecter. I am becoming more like Him.
13- Boy, i am selfish!
14- Jesus is fixing that. Dont worry.
15- Sadness is over.
16-Im on my own.
17- No one understands
18- repeat # 8
19- My spirit is listening
20- My relationship with Him has never been stronger
21- #20 is true just because of # 2,10 and 16
22- waiting sucks
23- I LOVE my life
24- I HATE waiting
25- I am doing this right. I am doing life right. This is right.
26- I may or may not go to N.A next year
27- But. I am doing this right.
28- I love blogging
29- I just finished the book of Acts and i start Romans tomorrow. (8 days until i finish up the Bible)
30- I think Acts is my -new- favorite book of the Bible.
31- Be still and Know that I am God- Psalms 46:10
32- I am doing this right. I have bad days. But im doing this right.
33- Thank you Jesus.

Saturday -BONUS- Post

Posted in BONUS by misspicture on December 19, 2009
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First of all. THANK YOU for your prayers! I really appreciate all your text messages, emails, calls and tweets.

My meeting went super well. My pastor was super kind in giving me all the time i needed to share my story and my thoughts about the trip. He also told me that he believed in my call and that, as a church, they were planning on sending me. He just didnt know when and how.

Yeah…

We are meeting again in january.
He promised to have an answer to the when and how then.

I will let God show him what He showed me. Gen 28;15

I am still processing this.

What do you think i should do?

Changing the subject….

Have i told you about my friends lately?

I have many, many good friends that i love and cherish.

But there are 3…. M*, A* and S* and they have the best friend tag in my soul.

M* is a girl and i always blog about her. She will have her chance to shine in this blog. But i wont talk about her today. Though i keep her close to my heart.

Today. It will be about the two boys that have won my heart. A* and S*. They are my brothers, my friends, my travel buddies. They let me tell them what to wear, and im always invited to their family parties. When they have stupid boy-fights they call me and ask for advice. They tickle me. They drive me home. sometimes they pay for my meals. sometimes they open the door for me. They buy me christmas presents. They care about me. They love me.

And i love them. deeply

I will have TWO “best men” @ my weeding- I dont care what my groom says-  And it will be them.

I have been so blessed to be able to share my life with these two.

Watch out, girls! If you ever date one of them. You will have to go through their little sister first! AKA: me!

Today is a good day. A good day to be thankful.
Thankful for godly men in my life.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend.!