The Heart of a Missionary-


I am home.

Posted in Uncategorized by misspicture on May 28, 2012

Yes.

What is home, anyways?

This word means so many things to me. Home is where my family lives. Home is where I grew up. Home is where the people I love live. Home is heaven.

But, honestly, home -for a missionary, or at least for me- is where you currently live. Whether that’s far from your biological family or close to them.

Home, is where God has you.

and sometimes, that’s a comfortable place. But its usually not.

I was reading the gospel of John this morning and the words of Jesus, spoke directly to my heart.

“There are many rooms in my father’s home, and I am going to prepare a place for you” John 14:2a

He is doing that right now. Preparing a place for me.

and for someone who is feeling a little homeless, That is good news.

This little verse gave me hope for the future. But it also gave me confidence for my present. I can hope and wait for the place He has for me, but I can also be confident that He has me where I am for a reason.

I also thought about Psalm 27:4a ” The one thing I ask of the LORD- The thing I seek the most- Is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life”

Aren’t you glad we can live in the house of the Lord, now? We can enjoy His presence, now. We can savor Him. Like we  lived in His house.

I hope and pray that you would learn, as I am, to hope for the place He has for you, but also to live in His house, today.

Dear _______.

Posted in Uncategorized by misspicture on May 12, 2012

Dear _______,
you are the hardest thing to say goodbye to.
you are what has made my life easy here
you are also what has made it hard
very hard.
You are everything I hate
and everything I love
all at the same time.
You manage to both make my day
and ruin it all at the same time.

Dear ______.
I miss you.
And I am not even gone yet
Please tell me you miss me, too

Dear ______,
The pain of loosing you
is so deep I can’t even cry
I lost all my tears
and now I look tough,
brave and strong
They don’t know how I’m feeling
They think Im looking forward to go home
But I’m not.
Not If it means I have to go without you.

Im not sure if you know, Dear _____,
But im dreading the day,
I’d have to wake up
knowing you wont be there.

Love,

Me.

 

:)

Posted in Uncategorized by misspicture on May 7, 2012

I have seven days left in this country.

se-ven.

I am almost all packed and ready to go and feeling pretty good about it. Leaving my team is hard but I have been hopeful lately.

I have no idea what the future holds for me. But I am pretty confident that, whatever it is, is good. Maybe not easy. But good nonetheless.

Yes, I am going through a break up. At least that’s what it feels like. And I am sad about all the good things i have to leave behind. But things will be ok.

I just know it.

I am so thankful that I was able to experience life in this country with such wonderful people. It has been tough but it has been good.

These are a couple pictures from my room.

Before

After

After

 

 

 

The sad missionary.

Posted in Uncategorized by misspicture on April 30, 2012

Dear blog, I have a crisis.

Im glad you are alive. And i can come here and talk to you.

Im listening to this

Sorry, i know that’s quite a V neck.

The song basically talks about this guy who is telling the woman he loves that if she ever leaves, he’s going to be fine. He will fall in love again, and the flowers would continue to grow. But he doesn’t want to be there for it. He doesnt want to try to live a life without her. He refuses to wake up every morning without her. He would survive just fine. But he doesnt want to.

and though this is a song for two people who are in love. I can relate 100%

Dear blog, I am in love with this country. I am in love with my team. I am in love with my roommates. And without them in my life, I will be fine. I will be just fine. I can find other friends, I can start all over again and create a new life. But I dont want to. I dont want a life without them. I just dont want it.

I want to stay. I dont want anything to change. I dont want to learn how to live without Lo always singing, and without Nelly always cleaning our floor. I dont want to learn someone else’s humor, Ed’s humor is enough for me. I dont want to bake for anyone else other than Nate. And i certainly dont want to learn how to make the perfect cup of coffee. Knowing exactly how much sugar is enough for Do is enough for me. I dont want to.

I dont want change.

I will be ok. But I don’t want to learn how to be ok without them.

No quiero.

And im mad that I have to. I am angry that I have to re-educate myself. I am afraid that I will never have this type of community again.

Dear blog, This is where im at.

and i dont like it.

Goodbye To you.

Posted in life in the field,Randomness,struggles,Uncategorized by misspicture on April 26, 2012

I am going home in less than a month. I leave in 18 days. That is less than 2o days. which proves my initial statement.

Less. Than. A. Month.

Im not sure how i feel about this. One day I could be day-dreaming about all the things that I know God has in store for me. And the next day I could be crying on the kitchen floor [my favorite crying spot in out apartment] thinking about how much I love this place and I dont want to leave.

One of my roommates (Lo) decided to go home too. [long story]. Which, exponentially increases the amount of crying and hugging done in this house, AND leaves roommate number two (Nelly) feeling like we are leaving her alone in this dry and weary land.

and that, my friends, is a whole ‘nother story.

Earlier today I twitted that I was a PRE-griever. And I haven’t googled it, so I dont know if this is an actual word/term or not. I like to think that it’s not and that me and my team invented it.

Because that is one thing we can do. Invent things. useless things, usually. Like a super power that creates things and activates every time Do snaps. Our spectrum of things go from stuff as cool as lightning to stuff as lame as chicken breasts .

we are also really good at tangents…..

According to us, a Pre-Griever is someone who grieves before the bad stuff happens. And a Post-Griever, is someone who ignores the situation and waits to start the grieving process after it happens.

I am a Pre-Griever. And pre-grievers start crying a month before the departure date. And they are half packed two weeks before they have to. And they start giving awkward one-minute-long hugs, and start sentences with the words “this is the last time….” two weeks too soon.

But today, I had a fun moment.

Since I have been doing all the grieving early, I had no tears or sad words to say today. So, I started listening to “Goodbye To you” by Michelle Branch. This is a sad song. Specially If you are in my shoes.

But I laughed.
and then Lo hugged me.
and then Nelly screamed “What is going on? are you crying or laughing?”
Then I continued to laugh while I said “Pre-Grieving is awesome!”

This is what my room looks like. Its a mess!

One suitcase down! one to go.

Messy Room

Im back.

Posted in Uncategorized by misspicture on April 17, 2012

Hello, readers!

If there’s any left….

I have decided to come back to the blog-sphere. Not because I have anything super important to share, but mostly because I need an outlet, a hobby, a-whatever-you-want-to-call-it, to cope with all the stuff that is going on in my life.

and since I love writing….

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about God and His goodness. What does it mean for Him to be good to me, in the midst of crappy circumstances? Because, He does not feel like He is good. He does not look He is good. So, what does His goodness look like right now?

It has taken me weeks to come up with an answer. But I think that He has shown me His goodness in community. In fellowship with believers in this country. He has loved me through my team (I can not brag enough about those five…), my pastors in country, my church, my small group, my supporters in the US and Vzla, and even the staff kids.

Yes, It has been a very very rough year. But I have learned to stay plugged in to the body of believers through it all. And I have experience God’s love and goodness through fellowship with other followers of Jesus.

How have you experience God’s love and goodness?

 

 

 

Missionary dating, part #2

Posted in Uncategorized by misspicture on June 16, 2011

Remember my friend who was dating a non-believer? you can read about his story HERE

They broke up.

But not because he obeyed God, but because she ‘didnt love him anymore’

ouch!

He is getting back on track. He is falling back in love with Jesus and talking to his old friends. He is devastated but He is looking for peace and joy from Jesus.

He really loved this girl. He still loves her.

But he has realized that He loves Jesus more. And He is excited to come back home. To His presence.

I love that God is a hero. He rescues us. The process is not always pretty but the end results are worth it.

I loved talking to Him and listening to him talk about His new relationship with God and how He has helped him in his grieving process.

What’s your idol, today?

Our God is a loving, gracious God. But He is also jealous. And He will make sure nothing occupies the first place in your heart but Him. (And that is good news!)

Im glad that im not holding onto Him but He is holding onto me. He will never let me go.

 

 

 

On the church…

Posted in Randomness,struggles,Uncategorized by misspicture on June 16, 2011

If you have been reading this blog for a while. You know that my heart is for those who are far from God. And for so long i felt like the church that i go to didnt have that vision for the lost. I considered changing churches so many times! But something inside of me would always keep me from giving up.

I wouldnt say i had hope. I really didnt.

But for some unknown reason i stuck around.

and so i went to the desert… with zero expectations.

But to my surprise they were really supportive and always checking on me. I came back and found a church that has grown so much!

Their hearts for the lost are being transformed and its so clear to me that God has not given up on them like sinful-me thought about doing….

I am so excited about church now. There are a million things they need to change. But there are a million-and-one things i need to change too.

Im glad God didnt let me give up. I would have missed this.

I LOVE my Church!
imperfect as it is.
It is the place where i learn about God, where i serve, and get to have fellowship with my family in christ.

Someone needs to read this today, DONT GIVE UP.
God will never give up on you. Dont you dare give up on them.

 

What i believe…

Posted in Uncategorized by misspicture on December 12, 2010

I added a flag counter a few weeks ago and it tells me i have visitors from all over the world.

To welcome you, my new readers, i thought i would share with you why i do what i do and why i would spend the rest of my life doing it…

“what do you do?” you may ask. I tell people about Jesus. As much as possible.

Now, you may think Jesus was just a good prophet. Or a really good teacher. But let me tell you He is more than that. He is The Son of God. He is YOUR Saviour.

I dont care how many times you deny the fact that you were born sinful. The truth is that you were, and still are sinful.

Just look at the kids in your life. Who taught them to be selfish? who told them to lie?

We are all sinful.

And the mess that our sin has caused is so great that we can not clean it up ourselves. It doesnt matter how many times you give to the poor, or go to church, or help those in need. The good things we do dont cancel out the bad ones.

We need a saviour.

Someone who lived a perfect life. Someone sinless [unlike you and me] Someone like Jesus. Who was born out of a virgin girl by the Holy Spirit. Sinless, Perfect Jesus.

The Saviour came and payed the payment for yours and my sin.

He did what you and I couldn’t do by going to church and being a “good person”. He lived a perfect life, He died on a cross and His blood covered all of our sins, and then God The Father raised Him from the dead.

And He is alive right now.

I know what you are thinking right now….

“…..But Prophets dont die”

Im sorry, friend. Mohammed is dead. Abraham is dead.

Jesus said “I am The way, The truth and The life, no one comes to The father but through Me.”

There is no other way. Jesus Christ, The Son of God, The Messiah, IS The way.

And the best part is that He wants a relationship with YOU. He wants to be close to You. The God of the universe loves you so much that He payed your debt on the cross. He wants you to have salvation as a free gift.

Would you take a few minutes to ask Jesus, The way-The truth- and The life- to  come be the King of your life? To fill up your empty heart, to give you peace, and joy?

I just felt like writing about this.

Feel free to comment here if you have any questions, or doubts about what i wrote. I promise to do my best to answer them

 

 

The introvert inside of me….

Posted in Uncategorized by misspicture on November 13, 2010

If you know me. You know im an extrovert. I get my energy from people. I love people. I love being around people. I love community. But I had a introvert Saturday today.

ahhh and it felt good.

I locked myself in my room. Turned my music on and just enjoyed myself. Took a 20 min nap and then spent some precious time with Jesus.

I am realizing more and more that even though im an extrovert i need times like these every once in a while. [at least twice a month]

 

:)

Posted in Uncategorized by misspicture on November 10, 2010

I am having one of those moments right this second.

one of those moments where I feel closer to God, even when im not verbally praying or singing praises.

I am just sitting in our living room and there is a beautiful voice coming out of A*’s room. She is one of my roommates. She is singing to Jesus.

and the sound of her voice is making me close my eyes and feel Him near.

I love this house.
I love the love, peace, fellowship, sisterhood, and harmony we have created in this place we now call home.
I love these girls.

After having a crappy day I can come home to a cup of tea, a loving prayer, and a hug. Times three

Being away from home is hard. It hurts sometimes.
but having people around you that not only understand what you are going through, but pray for you, and encourage you, and are intentional about loving you well…. makes it so much easier.

 

Spanish Club and pioneering

Posted in Uncategorized by misspicture on November 10, 2010

Three people showed up last week.

3 is not a big number. But i have been learning to celebrate small victories. Because small victories count in this country. Small victories count to God. Small victories, are victories.

Being a pioneer is hard.

Starting something completely new and talking to people no-one has ever talked to before requires patience, flexibility, and dependance on Jesus.

I am thankful for the group of people that God has placed here. They have been encouraging and helpful. I really do love my team and i wish i could show you their beautiful faces here…. but security comes first….

I have been here for almost two months and I’ve been starting to consider the possibility of coming back for a second year. I know its early! but it is impossible not to think about the future.

I  know one thing. I want to do this for the rest of my life. The big questions is where. But it seems to me that God may have me here for a while….

anyways,

im rambling again….

Happy post.

Posted in Uncategorized by misspicture on November 6, 2010

Welcome to the first happy post of this blog since ive been here. haha!

I am developing friendships with  a hand-full of girls. And i actually like them… I could be friends with them back home. They are precious.

Im actually starting to get excited about my life here.

I live in freaking Africa!

I started running last week. I only ran for 3 min. But HEY! its a start… dont judge me!

I also watched my first full Steven Furtick- sermon since ive been here.

This is my life.

Hearing the call to prayer five times a day is normal.

Ive had the chance to talk about Jesus with my friends and it has been great to get to share about His love, goodness and faithfulness.

my life is great.
I love it.
My team is fantastic.
My roommates are THE best.

I apologize. My posts havent been making much sense lately. I just ramble…. Im always tired in this country.

I will get my act together and start writing good stuff again.

k, adios.

 

Hello from the desert

Posted in Uncategorized by misspicture on October 26, 2010

Hello there, dear friends and readers.

Its 10:30pm and i am still awake. even though i would really like to be sleeping right now. anyways…  I got here, i am doing great. My team is awesome just as i knew they would be.

I am pretty happy.

*yawn*

I am tired.

Life here is not that different from life in Venezuela.

Streets are dirty, people are always late, crazy traffic, dirty veggies, tab water makes you sick.

im used to all these things.

no big shock for me

I do miss my family and friends. I miss not having to cook everyday. a lot.

I still enjoy cooking. But not in a rush.

sundays are a great day to cook.

ok

i have to go now.

good bye.

Goodbyes

Posted in Uncategorized by misspicture on September 25, 2010

Its time to say goodbye.

and it has been hard.

But ive realized that some people left my life long time ago.  I dont even remember what it was like to have them around.

It is nice to see them. ITs always nice to see them. But saying goodbye to them is not as hard as i thought it would be.

We said our goodbyes long ago.

And that is both good.

and bad.

Pastors, quality time, and love.

Posted in Uncategorized by misspicture on September 16, 2010

I got back from church a few hours ago. They prayed for me and my ministry

WHAT?

I was not. I repeat. I was not expecting this.

They are also giving me a one-time gift

WHAT?

I was not. I repeat. I was not expecting this.

They should have been more involved in this whole process. I would have loved to be sent by them. Its ok though. This small act of kindness just reveals that God has been backing me up this whole time and my church had no option but to join Him.

One thing’s for sure. I felt loved.

My pastor told the congregation to not forget about me. To keep in touch and to keep me in their prayers. He said “Send her emails, spend time with her before she leaves…. I know this will mean a lot to her”

Another thing’s for sure. My pastor knows me.

Somehow he has me figured out. You can tell me that you love me all you want but if you don’t spend time with me your words wont mean a thing to me.

That’s just the way I roll. Maybe i should change that…. Should I?

Dear future husband, are you taking notes?

I mean, a phone call or even skype would do. [I believe in long distance relationships. I dont really want one. But ill take it if i have to. And skype would do the quality time trick for me.]

Why am i blogging about this?

ha!

I just wish some people – who may never read this- would stop saying they love me and start loving me for goodness’ sake.

That’s all for now.

6 days.

oh! wait! Did you hear?

1- My wonderful team skyped me on sunday. It was so nice to see their pretty faces and hear about their first week in the desert.

2- 94% baby.

ok.

adios.

Evolution

Posted in Uncategorized by misspicture on September 14, 2010

Today’s post is going to be short.

I can not understand how someone can call himself a follower of Jesus and not read the Bible. There was a time in my life where i would say i was a christian and i would go to church and serve as a volunteer whenever they needed me. But i had no idea there was such thing as quiet time. I partially blame it on my church. This is not something they teach very often. But It was mostly my fault. Laziness, the “I dont like reading” excuse – which is a lie because i DO like reading- and the “The Bible is boring” excuse – Which is a lie too, by the way-  would always win.

I remember how awkward it was to pray in front of people.
I remember how awkward it was when someone at CRU asked me “So, what has God been teaching you lately?”
I remember not growing spiritually.

I was thinking a few nights ago and started wondering what changed this. When did my relationship with God really started? not that i didnt have one before, i did. But it was never tangible. You know what i mean…?

Remember the pesto guy ? It all started with him. two years ago.

Lets just say it was a platonic love. He was not a christian and was dating his now wife. But it was really hard for me. I really liked him but i knew we could never be together.

It was then when i realized i needed to fill my mind with the word of God.

So i did.

I Joined a Bible study. (After 4-5 years going to CRU! unbelievable i know)
Started reading my Bible consistently
Found Elevation Church and read through the Bible in 90 days.

Then I went to the desert.
And A*, M*, G* and As* changed the way i prayed. They have no idea how much they impacted my life. No idea.

I had no idea God was going to turn my miserable Pablo days into a greater understanding of Him His grace, His love and my need to get quiet. Every day. And seek His face.

oh my gosh.
This is SO not a short post.

Lo siento.

Desert Sick

Posted in Uncategorized by misspicture on September 11, 2010

10 months ago i was sitting on a starbucks right in front of the moulin rouge in Paris, France. I was asking God what my next move should be.

I knew I had been called to serve in the desert (im not using n.a anymore. security reasons.) but i wasn’t quite sure when He would have me do that. I had just been there for a couple of weeks and i knew He wanted me there.

I started writing on my journal…. I can not remember the words written that afternoon. But i do remember being desperate for a word from Him.

I was reading the book of Jeremiah at the time (B90X wooohooo!) and i stumbled upon these words.

Flee now! Do not delay! Jeremiah 4:6ish

Tears…

I kept reading. But I kept going back to those words… Flee now! But i kept reading anyways…

then I came across this

Pack your bag and prepare to leave; the siege is about to begin Jeremiah 10:17

now, to all of you Bible scholars… I dont know a wacamole (yes, i just made this up. I like it) about the context of this text or what those passages really mean. I am sorry if you think i was just being emotional and that i am misinterpreting the Word of God. I just know one thing.

When God speaks. You just know. Most of the times it doesnt make sense. Most of the times you can not explain it. You just know.

And I just knew.

I knew He had spoken. Clearly.

I closed my Bible. Drank the rest of my oh so perfect starbucks coffee. Took the metro. and literally ran home (ok, ok. my friend’s apartment) when i got there i called my friend michelle and told her to look those verses up in her spanish Bible. She did.

no. They dont make sense.

God spoke. And He spoke in english. true story.

I have been desert-sick today. All day long. My heart is no longer here (Im sure you knew this) I want to go back to the desert and be with my team (the majority of them). So i sat down on my bed.

Being desperate  for a word from Him. once again….

He took me back to Jeremiah

Tears…

Don’t you love it when God reminds you of His promises?

I do.

He said a few other things tonight. And I will share those tomorrow….

My spirit is quiet tonight.
My heart is joyful
And I am in the country He wants me to be today

Have you ever…?

Posted in Uncategorized by misspicture on September 10, 2010

Have you ever missed someone you dont know? Someone whom you have absolutely no memories with.

Am i the only one who misses 6 people she’s never met?

maybe.

But thats ok.

I havent had the chance to hang out with my team yet. But man do i miss them. It is weird because how can i miss something ive never had? but deep inside me there is a longing, a desire that’s stronger than me, to be united with the people that God has prepared to walk this journey alongside me. I can not say it enough. They are awesome.

The good news is that I will get to see them in 13 days.

This makes my heart smile. BIG TIME

🙂


Update..?

Posted in Uncategorized by misspicture on September 8, 2010

After all those blog posts this weekend i kind of ran out of things to blog about.

I am really excited to finally have a departure date. This is finally happening.

I even had a dream where i was packing.

That’s how you know…….

Please, please, PLEASE keep my team in your prayers. I think we are all experiencing some difficulties today. Say a quick prayer that the Lord would keep us together and in one spirit even as we are still geographically apart. Pray that He would bring us all together SOON.

My parents seem to be dealing with my new departure date (sept 22nd) pretty good. They are chill about it.

and…

I really have nothing much to say…..

ok. Ill be back here soon.

🙂

Photo Blog

Posted in Uncategorized by misspicture on September 2, 2010

Im @misspicture right?

yeah…

I thought i would share some of the pictures i took for my friend V*. She and her husband are close to my heart. Her husband was one of the very first friends i had when i first started going to my church. I was there at their wedding and it is such a joy to see them grow in their relationship with God and in their marriage. She asked me to take her pictures and i did what i could… They are not the best pictures but I sure like them.

What do you think?

suggestions?

Here’s to my oldest friend….

Posted in Uncategorized by misspicture on August 19, 2010

No, She’s not old.

She was there in pre-school
She was there in 1st grade
She was there in high-school
She was there when i met my boyfriend
She was there when we broke up
She was there when we got back together
She was there to support me
Even though she disliked him
She stood by me
She was there when we broke up again.
She was there when i became a christian
She didnt walk away like the rest of my “friends” did
She stood by me
We still have “religion” arguments every once in a while
But we’ve managed to stay friends in-spite of that
We have taken different paths
We have different lifestyles
But we’ve managed to stay friends in-spite of that, too.

She has managed to be here
Even though she’s not actually here.

She will be the very last familiar face i will see before I head to Africa.

And I am so glad its her.

My friend.
My sister.

Distance has never kepts us apart.
And I am sure it never will

I love you, Diana.
Thanks for sticking around.

BONUS-

Posted in Uncategorized by misspicture on June 27, 2010

a few things on my mind right now.. In no particular order

1- I think that my ability of switching from “I like you” to “meh” is pretty cool and has been really REALLY helpful through out my life. It also reveals that i have never really fallen in love and i am at peace with that fact.
2-  I am still very confused about the situation concerning #1.
3- Do you think God can clearly tell you who you are going to marry? Or Do you think He is not involved in this matter. That this is your choice and He lets you choose?
4- Support. Money.
5-  I am making a list of books im going to  buy and read through out next year.
6- I only have a few (i think 12) weeks left here
7- I think i might have shared too much information in #1, 2 and 3. oh well!
8- I tweeted this today. If you are affirmed by strangers ask yourself if those closer to you would say the same thing, Strangers only see what you want them to see. Those closer to you see who you really areIt is so true.
9- I really need to loose weight. My pink pants dont fit like they used to. Ha!
10- Sometimes i wonder if im working hard enough on support raising.
11- DESTINO

Marcu’s Public Apology

Posted in Uncategorized by misspicture on June 14, 2010

My dear friend Marcus posted this on his blog after “guest blogging” here. I thought this was hilarious and so nice and sweet of him.

You can check him out HERE

He will give you what he calls “inspiration for your momma” you can also help him raise money for charity water HERE

And Marcus.. Apology accepted.

🙂

So I just guest posted on a good friend of mine’s blog who is on twitter. Funny thing, I haven’t met her yet, but I would still consider her a good friend. Weird? Maybe, lol!

Well, like I was saying I guest post today and I pretty much promoted myself :) I’m not proud of it, I actually thought it was funny afterward though, cause I didn’t realize I did it till she called me out on twitter.

Anywho, Miss Picture is a really awesome person. She is truly trying to rock the Gospel and follow God’s steps for her. She is even working on her slang to keep up with me on twitter.

She has a heart for Africa and from what I hear can cook like no other. Hmm.

She blogs daily at Heart of a Missionary and will surely give you a worthy post to fill your tank whenever it’s empty.

Is this a promo post for her?

Maybe…

Well, anyway, today is her birthday so check her out when you get a chance and wish her a happy one. Go! Now! Seriously!

Guest blogger: Marcus Williamson

Posted in Uncategorized by misspicture on June 12, 2010

It’s Miss Picture’s Birthday today and in honor of her Birthday I’m kicking her off the blog for a day so she can relax and eat some cake on this awesomeness of a day.

Who am I? Glad you asked. Boy, you guys are so polite on this blog. I may have to make the switch permanent.

I am Marcus Williamson. Graphic Designer and Blogger. My style is simple when it comes to design: http://www.creativemyk.com/mawill

When it comes to blogging, I focus all of my efforts on what gives me inspiration; graphic design, with the occasional Fun post in between. Drop by if you want to be inspired: http://www.lifeasamissionary.com/

Alright now that introductions are out of the way. I would ask who you are but that may be a little too forward seeing how this is not my blog, so here’s the deal, if you are reading this wish Miss Picture a Happy Birthday and we can call it a day.

You rock!

What’s NEXT? P2

Posted in Uncategorized by misspicture on June 8, 2010

…. It Continues

I told you God was asking me to do something. To step up of my comfort zone and take a baby step. He was asking me to talk to my mom.

a little background for you.

She is GREAT. She is AWESOME. She is my best friend. But she has been acting weird lately. She has been getting easily upset and i think it all has to do with me leaving for a year.

with that said.

I felt like God was urging me to talk to her and just listen to how she felt. I didnt want to do it. But i decided i would.

So i woke up saturday morning decided to talk to her.

She woke up being normal again.

Now, i am not saying God always works in this way. But i know one thing. Our decisions determine our future.

I am sure that i will, eventually, have to have “The Africa talk” with her. Just not right now.

Appointment after appointment

Posted in Insights,Support Raising,Uncategorized by misspicture on June 2, 2010

I have learned one thing about God -so far- during this process

He Always wins

He is in control and He’s got my back-

Ok, those were three things.

OH well!

I am enjoying this ride. Even though I just got back from my canceled appointment. [Dont you love those?]

God is teaching me that He already has what i need. He already won this battle. Im supposed to be diligent and fight but the Victory belongs to the Lord (Proverbs 21:31). I am falling more in love with Him and i am, for the first time, seeing Him as a provider. I never understood the Jehova-jireh thing up until now.

I am currently reading the book of Judges and i noticed one thing. This book tells the story of the judges God appointed in the nation of Israel and almost every judge has its chapter (s). But there are  some judges that only have one or two verses. And I wondered….

In the Book of Life. Would i be mentioned in a few verses, or would i have a whole chapter?

And I am not being prideful. You know I have pride issues.

In this life. Will i make God my passion and therefore impact the world with His crazy Love? Or will i just sit at church every sunday and remain “normal”?

Will I live a life that demands explanation or will i be…well…. just a “christian”?

Will I follow Jesus or Christians?

I am struggling with the term christian as you can see. I dont think i should call myself that anymore.

Christians do not change the world. Christians do not go on mission trips. Christians do not make religious people mad. Christ-Followers do.

Christians prayed a prayer and are saved. Christ-followers….well. Christ-Followers Follow Jesus wherever He leads. Christ followers bare fruit.

Followers are in love. Christians are…. religious.

Appointment after appointment I am finding people who want to switch from christian to follower.

What a blessing it is, to be part of this great move of God!

I live for days like Today.

Posted in Randomness,Uncategorized by misspicture on April 28, 2010
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I know i havent been blogging lately. I feel like i do have a lot to say but somehow find it hard to put it all into words.

I dont know.

Im glad keeping a blog is not my job.

I would love to blog for a living though…

and i just contradicted myself.

blah

Wanna know what i learned today after hanging out with a grownup woman ?

God allowed some awful episodes in my life. Just for tonight. Just so i could have something to tell her tonight. I cried, yes. It hurt, yes. But God transformed my tears into wisdom.

and for that… I am thankful

I was, also, able to answer one question that had been dancing around my little head…

….. Is that God’s best for your life?

Yes, sir. It is.

Because He spoke
Because there is peace in my heart
Because it does not hurt. It does NOT hurt.

I live for days like today.
I live for deep conversations where the Holy Spirit is just there
I live for days like today.

: )



Codependency and “Missionary” Dating-

Posted in Randomness,Uncategorized by misspicture on March 15, 2010
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Last weekend i had a hard conversation with a friend of mine. He is precious and I love him very much.

He is dating a beautiful almost-perfect non christian girl.

And this broke my heart

I remember this guy being so in love with Jesus. So involved at his church. So involved in fellowship with other believers and building up relationships with godly men. I remember him sharing his faith whenever he had a chance to. I remember this guy following Jesus.

I sat with him this weekend.

And i saw a guy who is in love with a girl.  spends all his time with her. when he’s not with her he’s thinking about her. If he’s not thinking about her he’s probably talking to her on the phone. This guy lost his friendships with godly men -not because his friends wernt there for him. But because he didnt care for them anymore-. This guy is not spending time with God. He is not sharing his faith. He is starting to get bitter. He is hurting. He is alone.

I told him what he needed to hear.

He hated me for a few seconds. I saw it in his eyes. But then he thanked me.

Im not sure if he is going to end that relationship. He really loves her.

But im afraid he is loving her more than he is loving God.

And that is never. NEVER. A good thing.

I hurt for him. Not only because he is alone right now (that is a big part of my concern) But mostly because the girl he is inlove with does not know His saviour. Im sure that sucks.

This is a sad post.
Because this makes me very sad.

THOUGHTS?

JOBless

Posted in Uncategorized by misspicture on March 1, 2010

So my mom fired me last night.

How convenient. Now that im support raising.

Im still going to work for her whenever she needs to import stuff and she’ll pay me for that but that’s not every month…

I have always had a job.

Always!

I had a job before graduating from college.

Now i dont.

That means. No money.

My mom said she’ll pay me for taking my sister to swim classes twice a week which ive been doing for a while now. I could do that.

But i need a part time job. Something i can do while i stay home with my siblings.

Maybe translating?

maybe….

who knows?

Im freaking out.

A glimpse of Africa-

Posted in Uncategorized by misspicture on February 23, 2010

MEN: Hanging out

WOMEN: Working. Dealing with the kids.

That’s just the way it is. It’s part of their culture and im not here to judge it.

I just really wish she knew Jesus, so her value would no longer be in what she does or how she cooks or how many people go to her funeral but in the fact that all the gold of this world could not buy her salvation. Only the very son of God was able to pay that price. I wish she understood that she is loved.

I wish she knew Jesus.

Posted in Uncategorized by misspicture on February 21, 2010

I FEEL LONELY

More on “The life of  a missionary” coming up soon.

Late post.

Posted in Uncategorized by misspicture on February 17, 2010

Did you miss me today?

I spent the day on a missions training. It was great. Made me miss Africa. a lot. I also received AWESOME news.

My Friend. My sister. The girl who saw me cry in Africa. The girl who prayed for me numerous times. The girl who traveled the country with me. The girl who shared her bed with me for a week. The girl who went to the store and bought me soup when i got sick. The girl who understands the passion of my heart like no one else. The girl who freaks out about spending too much money. The girl who is not afraid to be vulnerable. The girl who hates doing the dishes. The girl who eats like a pig but still has perfect curves is going back to Africa for a year.

That means we will be team mates.
That means we will be roommates.

Im looking forward to spending next year with a dear friend.

This was taken at 6 am. on a train. we look bad.

Moving on, Daniel Fast was good today. I barely ate during the day. That mix of almonds, bitter chocolate and peanut kept me going today. But God has been so good that He’s giving me strength. Ruth was read, again.

and i wonder.

Why did the other man, who was first in line to redeem ruth, not want to redeem the land after Boaz told him that he had to take Ruth as his wife?. Wasnt she like the best catch?

This book is confusing.

Maybe Ruth and Boaz were just meant to be.

Yeah.. That’s probably it.

Posted in Uncategorized by misspicture on January 21, 2010

Recipe: Buckeyes

Posted in Uncategorized by misspicture on January 4, 2010

Im sure all of my american readers know this one.

This is a special recipe for my Venezuelans. Try it guys!

It. is. stinking.awesome

Ingredients

  • 1 1/2 cups peanut butter
  • 1 cup butter, softened
  • 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 6 cups confectioners’ sugar
  • 4 cups semisweet chocolate chips

Directions

  1. In a large bowl, mix together the peanut butter, butter, vanilla and confectioners’ sugar. The dough will look dry. Roll into 1 inch balls and place on a waxed paper-lined cookie sheet.
  2. Press a toothpick into the top of each ball (to be used later as the handle for dipping) and chill in freezer until firm, about 30 minutes.
  3. Melt chocolate chips in a double boiler or in a bowl set over a pan of barely simmering water. Stir frequently until smooth.
  4. Dip frozen peanut butter balls in chocolate holding onto the toothpick. Leave a small portion of peanut butter showing at the top to make them look like Buckeyes. Put back on the cookie sheet and refrigerate until serving.

IT’S CHRISTMAS EVE!!!

Posted in Uncategorized by misspicture on December 24, 2009

AND its time to celebrate.

Me and my family dont have many traditions. Actually,when people ask me about them my mind always goes blank. I dont think we have any.

So, since i cant tell you about my traditions <which i dont have> im going to tell help you see how christmas is like here in Venezuela.

We celebrate on the 24th. the 25th is a day to eat and sleep and probably visit family and friends. But you mostly spend that day eating and sleeping. On Christmas eve people usually go to church and then go home and get their together with their families and eat the christmas dinner.

And then we have music on. we dance, we eat, we catch up with our families.

I come from a very small family. I only have ONE uncle and he and his family usually spend christmas at his in-laws. So i dont get to see them for christmas. So its just me, my mom, my dad, my grandma, brother and sister.

My parents usually go to bed after dinner. Which, culturally, you should eat at 12m. But in this household we eat around 10 MAX.

This year im baking lots and LOTS of cookies because my mom is having 2 friends over. AND im also making my friend’s Jyll recipe. I dont really know what they are called. But it involves melted cheese and meat. OH! and im also making rice krispies. Thank you Jyll!

This is whats going on here today.

I will give you pictures tomorrow for my Facebook Less Friday.

So.. what is christmas like for you?