The Heart of a Missionary-


FLF

Posted in FLF by misspicture on February 4, 2010
Tags: , , , , , ,

My baby brother had not been feeling well for the past two days. He had a fever yesterday morning but he was fine by noon.

He was happily napping. I was watching glee right beside him. my right hand was touching his little left leg.

Fever was apparently gone.

Out of the blue he started shaking and getting all red.

a convulsion.

My beloved almost son was having a convulsion.

I left the room, holding his little shaking body, screaming! Shortly enough we (me, my cousin, and the lady who helps us at the house)  -literally-  ran to the nearest med. center. It took us about 4 min. [Thank you Chavez] and there they put him on an oxigen masc, gave him some shots and then we (me and the baby) got into the shower so the fever would go down.

2 hours later. He was fine. He IS fine.

But me. I am still shaking.

The whole time i was at the med. center holding my -hardly breathing- brother i was singing “Holy is the Lord, God Almighty… The earth is filled with His glory…” while bawling my eyes out. And Let me tell you. It is not easy. It is not easy to sing and cry at the same time. It is not easy to see the person you love the most in this world having so much trouble to breathe. It is not easy to NOT be in control. It is not easy to be thankful…. It wasnt easy to remain thankful yesterday.

When i got home. I prayed this prayer. While still bawling my eyes out. “God. I dont get it. But it doesnt matter. I choose to worship You. You are good. You are good”

He is good. He will never cease to be good. Ever.

Yesterday was officially the worst day of my life.

Not only because my brother had a convulsion. But mostly because i realized how much i love him. I love him so much it hurts.

He is my Isaac.

And God is asking me to leave him.

and I will. In 30 weeks.

I am devastated. It hurts. It hurts so much it gets hard to breathe.

But one thing remains clear.

God is good.
and my circumstances  are unable to change that.

Be encouraged! Stay strong! Remain Thankful!

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2 Responses to 'FLF'

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  1. Michelle Teague said,

    Estoy llorando eso es todo lo que te puedo decir….

  2. Jyll said,

    Wow. I am glad he is ok. I know how hard this is for you. Keep your eyes focused on Him and He will take care of you and your family (even the little guy- who has gotten so much bigger since the last time I saw him!!)


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